Admitting a limitation and asking for help is hard. I know this from personal experience. I have a terminal degree, a business, a wonderful personal relationship, I workout more days than I don't and in the summer I bike ride about 100 miles a week. On the surface I look like a duck serenely gliding across the pond of life. People often make the mistake of assuming I never have any doubts, stresses or obstacles to my success. I certainly don’t want to burst their bubble. But under the surface things might be churning away on the verge of panic. Sound familiar?
Here’s the truth – we ALL need help, support, guidance, outside input, a sounding board; whatever you call it we all need it from time to time (or all the time if you’re really smart). So how do you get it without having to deal with that dreaded look of shock when someone realizes you don’t live in the magical, perfect world with all of the answers they thought you did?
Get over yourself – Yep that’s written for me as much as it is for you. So what if you burst the bubble of perfection someone put you in? It is better to do that, get the help you need and really start achieving the success you deserve than pretending everything is fine while your drowning.
Find someone you trust – This is harder than it sounds. You might share your story with a willing ear only to discover they wanted to use you. Once they realize you don’t have all the answers they will disappear. Or they will gossip about you – which is worse. It happens more often than I’d care to admit. But if you’re looking for someone to support you for free (as a friend) that is a risk you have to be willing to take.
Be careful about leaning on friends – With friendships come expectations of reciprocity and bias. If you ask for advice you are going to be expected to take it. Even if you don’t think it is the right answer for you. There is also the concern of “friends” then giving you unsolicited advice going forward. If you decide to go this route, talk about confidentiality up front; never assume.
Join a mastermind group – Groups of like-minded peers can be powerful obstacle-busters. A productive group will have a strong facilitator, regularly scheduled meetings, a basic agenda and no more than 6-8 members. There is usually a monthly fee ranging from minimal to extensive depending on the group. Ask to attend a meeting or two to see if it is the right fit for you. Group confidentiality, norms and expectations should be topics in the contract. Discuss any questions or concerns you have with the facilitator before you sign up.
Hire a coach – I realize that seems a little brazen coming from a coach. Hear me out. Working with a coach 1:1 gives you individualize attention. There is no expectations of reciprocity (that is why you pay him/her), you won’t be spending your time listening to their problems (a good coach has a coach of their own for that); they are trained to recognize opportunity, provide insight, teach skills, brainstorm and listen. Look for credentials that make you feel confident in their ability. Ask about their process (be wary of someone who has a “product” that solves every problem for every person). The contract should have an iron-clad confidentiality statement (barring your threatening to hurt yourself or someone else). Most of all, listen to your gut. If it doesn’t feel right, interview someone else. You need steak not sizzle.
No one person has all the answers. It is lonely, unnerving and stressful on your way up and at the top. You don’t have to go it alone. But you do have to put aside your ego, share what’s going on and ask for help. Doing so made a huge difference in my success and I know it will for you too.
As always, I wish you the MOST from your potential,
If you’d like to have a free, no obligation, no pitch discovery conversation to see if I’m the right coach for your needs, email me: DocRobyn@ChampPerformance.com or text/call 302-307-3091.